Trouble at The Golden Hall
by Vesper water
Summary: When Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas and Aragorn arrive at the golden halls trouble comences, Saruman works in strange ways! SLASH! LANGUAGE! R ,n, R! If you dont like dont read!


Summary: When Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas and Aragorn arrive at the golden halls they generate as much trouble as possible it seems, Saruman works in strange ways. My first Fanfic so please read and reveiw! PLEASE If you dont like dont read.There is a fantastic button called the BACK BUTTON please press if you dont like what your reading...don't waste your time telling me...

Wanrings: SLASH, spoilers for the two towers.

couplings: Aragorn/Legolas Faramir/Eowyn Gandalf/Gimli/Hama

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Lotr characters, places etc. I'm just playing with them, if i did own them i'd be filthy rich

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A slight Hitch at the gates of The Golden Hall

"You must give me all your weapons" said Hama as he looked at the assortment of beings around him, such an odd group…

"Says who?" questioned Legolas.

"By order of Grima Wormtongue, elf" Hama replied drearily.

"Prince Legolas!" Interrupted Aragorn, who was rewarded with an eye roll from Legolas.

"Yes, yes" nodded Hama.

"Hang on! Not Grima! What's _he_ doing here?" Burst out Gandalf in disgust.

"I really don't think I need to answer that question" Hama said looking slightly bored.

"Whatever" Gandalf snorted and looked down his nose at the guard.

"Anyway," Hama carried on as though there had been no interruption, "I need your weapons before you can enter his majesty's halls."

"OK" Gandalf set the example.

"OK" agreed Legolas shooting a sideways glance at Aragorn.

"OK" muttered Aragorn looking at the elf beside him.

"OK" finished Gimli, looking pleased about something we don't know about.

"That's good" said Hama brightly. After about five minutes when no one made a move he added. "I shall personally look after them."

Apart from Legolas reaching to stroke his bow, nobody moved.

So beginning with the one at the end of the row Hama made his move. "Elf prince, your quiver, bow and swords if you will." He politely held out his hand.

The he-elf stopped in mid-flow, "What if you run off with them?" he asked after a couple of seconds thinking time.

"Just give me them!" Hama spat, irritated.

"Nop" Legolas refused.

"Give!" Hama shouted lunging at the blonde elf. Being the tallest in the group he simply held his weaponry above his head and sniggered when Hama couldn't reach them. Aragorn and Gimli watched in amusement, Gandalf however did not.

"Enough" the wizard said, bored already. Using his staff he dragged the weapons down to Hama who grasped them tightly.

"No!" said the elf.

"Yes!" said the Rohan man.

Legolas made a dash for his precious bow, but a pair of arms caught him round the middle and held him still. He watched as his bow, quiver and swords were laid against the wall next to another guard. He waited for Aragorn to let go and take hisbulge off of his butt.

"Aragorn!" he shouted, the man immediately let go of an angry elf. "What have I said about _that_?"

"Sorry." He apologised.

Meanwhile, Gandalf looked at Hama, Hama looked at Gandalf.

"Err, I'm going to let you keep your staff" started the guard, "only because I fancy you" he added shyly. Gandalf smiled triumphantly. Gimli scowled and moved closer to the wizard.

Encouraged by Gandalf's approval, Hama continued "master dwarf, your axe?" reaching out to the dwarf. Then something much unexpected happened.

Gimli let out an extremely large squeal and began to run circles around Gandalf like a headless chicken emitting the loud squeals. Everyone watched and frowned until Gandalf decided he'd had enough.

"Cease and desist!" he cried. Gimli stopped and he gained everyone's attention. In a softer tone he continued, "Now we're all friends here" Gandalf glanced around the group and spotted Legolas eyeing Aragorn's groin. "Or more than friends"

Gimli and Hama looked at him hopefully; "I don't know why you two are looking so hopeful!" said Gandalf smugly-he had both of them! "So can we not act like friends?"

Hama seized his opportunity while Gimli (disappointed) was stood still to grab the axe.

"Yoink" He shouted. Gimli looked rather devastated.

Everyone abruptly lined up outside the door.

"I don't know where you think you're going!" said Hama, "I need Aragorn's sword first!"

"Damn" said Aragorn under his breath time for plan B. "I am the King of Gondor, you're not allowed!" pathetic.

"Yes we know, please Aragorn just hand your sword over!" Legolas replied.

"No!" Estel said stubbornly.

Them a lot of things happened. Hama made a lunge for his waist, Aragorn yelped and Legolas growled. Everything worked like a dream for Aragorn, stood back and watched.

As Hama's hands made contact with the belt buckle, ready to try and get his hands on some sexy ranger, he then found himself on the floor. Legolas being the possessive elf he is barged him over, he'd have no one feeling up his man!

Aragorn had known exactly what would happen, if he provoked it well enough. He had to hand it to himself, what brains…

"Ai Eru! He just tried to feel me up!" The ranger stirred, Hama received a black eye and a cold threat for his attempts, yet he dragged himself to his feet.

"Legolas, you take it off for me." Aragorn purred, the elf unbuckled the belt whilst rubbing himself against his Adan (man) to show Hama he indeed was the boss here.

Finally satisfied they joined the queue and were lead in by a frightened looking guard.

As they filed in Legolas'hand wandered over to Estel's ass. Gandalf spun round.

"NOT in front of the king!" he told them off, "do you hear me?" They nodded.

Suddenly everyone was distracted by Eowyn running through the hall giggling; she paused to wave at Aragorn (fortunately missed by Legolas) then carried on into a separate chamber. She was promptly followed by Faramir.

"Hang on a minute! How did you get here?" asked Gandalf.

Faramir shrugged and simply carried on after Eowyn leaving the company in complete dismay. Gandalf shook his head, Saruman had weird ways of working…

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A/N: If you liked, tell me and review, if notdon't... 


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